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0:02
Hello, welcome to Call the Homeschool episode #275 Confidence and Resilience for Teens with Joey Mascio, who I am so excited to have on the podcast today.
Joey, how in the world are you doing?
0:18
I'm doing great, I'm loving summer right now and getting geared up for the back to school season.
Yeah.
OK, Joey, I am excited to have the listeners to meet you.
So why don't you go ahead and start with who you are, your family, and kind of what you do?
0:36
Yeah, of course.
So I'm Joey Mascio.
I'm a confidence and resilience coach for teens.
I specifically work with middle school, high school aged individuals on everything from achieving goals, managing emotions, becoming bulletproof, things like that.
0:52
I've been doing this for five years.
Before that I was a middle school teacher and counselor for about 6 years and where I where I volunteer to be the teacher in the discipline office and that's where I started kind of working with teens and coaching them.
1:09
And then before that, I was a Disneyland comedian and performer for about nine years.
Oh, I didn't know that.
That's fun.
What was like, did you juggle?
What was your?
What did you perform?
Well, I played famous Disney characters, and so I'm actually the only actor in Disney history to have played both Darth Maul and the Mad Hatter.
1:30
Congratulations, I didn't know I had such a celebrity.
My plan to fame.
That's amazing.
So I ran into Joey, got to meet in person at a home school conference.
And I I just faced the name.
It was, it was in May.
Yes.
1:45
I think so.
OK.
Yeah.
It was in Provo, UT, and Joey was a vendor there.
And he's amazing.
And I got to talk to him.
So he said that he was a school teacher.
But your kids don't go to public school, do they?
No, no they do not.
2:01
They do not.
And my, my wife was the first one to, to bring up that idea before our first son.
We, we have 4 kids now, but before our first one was even school aged.
She's like, hey, you know, Joey, I think I'm going to home school and I'm like, hold on a second crazy lady here, right?
2:19
Like I'm a public school teacher.
How is that going to look?
And I, I've been a public school teacher for like a year, you know, or two.
And I'm like, I don't know how, how is that going to look?
You know, like, this is the way everybody does things.
You know, I want our kids to be very normal, you know, and a lot of the homeschool kids I kind of like ran into aren't normal.
2:38
Like that was my perception of it all.
But then a couple years into teaching, I looked at my wife and I was like, no, yes, you're right.
Yes, we need to, we need to homeschool our kids because, and people get mad at me for saying this, but I looked at public school and I was like, this is not the best way to educate children.
2:59
It it's just not.
And I, I taught at a public school in Southern California.
It was kind of an inner city school.
So that a lot of funding because when you're title one school with low socio economic individuals, you get a lot of funding.
3:15
So there's a ton of money coming in, but the place at times and by the way, I loved my job.
Like I absolutely loved it.
The only reason why I left is because my coaching business took off and we wanted to focus all on this.
But I loved it up until the final day.
But I still was like, this is not the best way to do this because it was at times a madhouse and it was nuts.
3:38
And I mentioned this to you before we, we had like 50 minute periods, but then they, they shortened it to to 43 minute periods during my tenure there.
And of that 43 minutes, I maybe, maybe got in 15 minutes of instruction of solid a hardcore, what people would consider instruction.
3:59
Other minutes were given to culture, community building, a classroom management, it was given to independent work, you know, and things of that nature.
But me teaching them content was like 15 minutes.
4:16
And I was, I was an English teacher and I also taught theatre classes.
But I, I was like the language arts English teacher, which people say math and reading and writing.
Those are the most important things you know, and all the most like the important thing to teach.
I had 15 minutes to really teach a concept.
4:34
So it was.
It's just not the most effective way to do it.
Yes, the kids are at school for six hours, sometimes 7 hours, but they are not receiving six to seven hours of instruction.
Yes, I love that.
I think I could have Joey on another time where we could just dive into that because so many homeschool parents are like, wait, schools are going for six hours.
4:54
And I I did a podcast episode where I went and like researched like education.gov or whatever their website is, right.
And it's just like, you only need this much time to do this and this much time to do this.
And so you could actually condense the school day down to an hour, hour and a half, maybe two hours for bigger kids.
5:12
So you can get so much done.
Because when I'm teaching one child about contractions versus 3540 plus kids, I can make that a really short and sweet lessons if they understand that we can just go through it.
If they're stuck, it's like, oh, hey, let's take a little bit of time.
5:29
Let's spend a whole week on contractions.
Let's have a lot of fun with it, right?
So yeah.
Thank you.
It's not like, yeah, of course.
And it's not like schools are always wasting time, right?
You know, a lot of stuff is necessary when you have thousands of students in like 1 community.
5:49
Like you have to do things like the community culture building, like students will get pull out of class, there's assemblies, there's other things.
There's also mandates come down from the district and the government of things that must be done and covered and what not.
You have to do fire drills, right.
6:05
These things aren't bad, but they're kind of a necessary time suck.
When you are in a machine like that, you have to take care of the whole machine and the just what it is.
6:24
You know, you, you have to take time doing that.
And so I, my wife sometimes will spin because, you know, we homeschool our, our forks and she'll sometimes spend, oh man, I'm not getting in enough, enough time.
And she'll look at public school hours and whatnot.
And this was more so a couple years ago.
She's gotten over this since.
6:42
But I'm like, honey, no, it's, it's not like you need to get in like get in six, even 5, even 4, even 3 hours of instruction a day to keep up with it.
Like that's not a necessity.
Yeah, OK.
I hope everybody will listen to the like what you just said over and over and over on repeat just because especially where I've had four graduates, right?
7:05
And I've looked that our homeschool day when I had all seven kids home, it was longer just because I wanted one-on-one time with each kid.
So that does take time, right.
But as far as their instruction time, because maybe I'm working with one kid and the other brothers are outside playing football and maybe sisters are out doing something else, right.
7:23
And so here I have proof like in the pudding.
The proof is in the pudding, right?
Like that you don't need a million hours and your kids can be amazing successful adults.
And I love asking their friends who are also adults of like, what did your home school look like in high school?
7:39
I just saw one of the kids yesterday and I was because he's going to Brigham Young University, which is an awesome university in Utah.
And so I was like, oh, wait, what did your parents do then?
And I was asking him and he goes, oh, they just knew BYU like the high ACT score.
So he did speech and debate and I, I don't know if he did mock trial, but his dad's in politics.
7:57
So he was really in with helping his dad in his political forms and and then it got a really good ACT score and he was like, yeah, that was pretty much my, my high school.
I was like, and here you are a young 20 year old young man.
He's amazing going to this nice university.
8:15
And so like I love asking all my kids friends just because their parents all do different things and you can all create something amazing.
So you get to completely individualize it instead of this big, you're a cog in the machine.
I think I'm getting on my soapbox so I'm going to come back.
8:32
We, we, I think we're, we both were up there.
So we'll both step.
Down, OK, we'll both step back.
So I have a soft spot for teens.
I love them, absolutely love them.
I do not think the teen years have to be horrendous.
I don't think they had to be awful.
At one time I had five teens.
8:48
Right now I have 4-1, doesn't live at home anymore.
So I guess 3 teens that live here and it's not the worst thing like in the whole entire world.
And Joey, I think, shares my love of this age group, correct?
9:04
Yes yeah, absolutely love it.
I'm excited.
Like my oldest is 9 and parents that I coach or talk to Oh, just you wait when they get when they become a teen, oh, it's all different and it's horrible and like they they kind of want to cast a dark shadow on it.
9:19
I'm like, well what makes it so horrible?
Oh man.
Like they start getting opinions and they start wanting to do things that you don't want them to do.
And they start like talking back.
And I'm like, you just described all of my kids ever since they hit three, right?
9:35
Like having their opinions and wanting to, you know, like do their own thing and not listen.
And one day, like my son is reading a book, My 9 year old, he's reading a book.
And me and my wife were literally Logan, Logan, Logan, we asked you to like, and you could replace the book with phone and it would be the exact same interaction.
9:59
He's just still ignoring us because he's doing the thing that he's Logan, look at what you know.
And he's annoyed that we're kind of getting on his space.
And so it's like they would give me the whole doom and gloom.
But I'm super excited for my kids to be teenagers.
Like, I want to enjoy them at all ages, but I'm not afraid of it because the teenagers, there's so much potential and so much great education that we can give them during that time.
10:25
Yes, so when I was talking to Joey too, because what I love to do is like, I work with the parents, right?
And a lot of things like you just said back talk and a lot of parents will be like, Oh, no, you won't not in my house.
You will not disrespect me, right?
Like my little sassiness comes out and so, so interesting where I can teach you to ignore or like get curious what like can you hear the words that they're saying?
10:46
Maybe they don't feel like they have a voice, right.
So I really focus on that parent part.
And I have coached some teens, but Joey's mostly teens.
And I, what did you say?
Like teens need coaches too?
Is that what you told me?
Yes, yeah, teens need coaches too, because when I became a life coach, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to work with teens.
11:03
It was an obvious choice for me.
And a lot of other coaches I certified with and we're talking to, they're like, oh, and online and in person, they'd say, well, no, it's really the parents that need it, you know, and and they just discount the teens.
I'm like, no, no, teens need this education as well as the parents.
11:20
Like yes, parents definitely get the coaching and the the metacognition skills right, that the your own resilience, but don't just say no.
It's just for the parents to get and the teens just or, or whoever they are.
And I don't know why they would say that.
11:36
Maybe they're insinuating that teens are just going to be who they are, you know, and there's no change in them they don't have.
I know their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until they're 25 or 26, you know, and they just got their prefrontal cortex around the age of 10 and 11:00, depending on it, on gender.
11:53
But like, they could still learn how to use it as it's being built.
And I was seeing it.
I'm like, no, like, kids get it.
Some kids maybe not mature enough, you know, at 1314 years old.
But they have to have the maturity and the desire.
And they have both of those things.
12:09
Then they're fully capable of learning all these awesome self coaching, mental and emotional regulation skills that will help them be even more successful than learning math or English.
Yes, so it's interesting because my kids are growing up in a home where my husband and I are very intentional parents, right?
12:29
We we work on working, we work really hard to work with them to be understanding when they have different trials pop up or even quote UN quote stupid decisions that they've made.
We have worked really hard to be a safe space.
Like, OK, like let's dive in.
Why did you think that was a good idea versus like, Oh my gosh, you're in so much trouble, right.
12:47
So even though my husband and I were not perfect, darn near close.
Yeah.
My kid said when I interviewed him, he goes, I know you always say you're not perfect, but you guys are pretty close.
And I was like, OK, you are amazing.
I guess I'll pay you after.
No, he's so sweet.
But like, so my husband and I try really hard to be intentional parents.
13:06
Our kids needed a coach, right?
They had a friend commit suicide once, and that was heavy.
And that was something that they didn't want to like have mom and dad to deal with it, right?
Like they wanted an outside source or I've had a team going through a struggle that they are like, I don't want to open it up to you about it.
13:26
Not that they I didn't know about the struggle, but it's like, but I would like someone else because I want to just be your kid.
I don't want this coach therapy type relationship with you.
I want the mom, the dad relationship with you.
And I want to be your kid and your friend, But I want to open up this heavy thing with somebody else, this thing that like you can just be my support staff, my crew, but I just want someone else to talk to you.
13:51
And it's been neat to watch my kids who like, maybe they don't need a regular coach, but just knowing I have one in my back pocket.
So when something heavy pops up.
And heavy can be a definition for so many things, right?
Or just even decisions that they've made that they feel guilty about.
14:08
I've just, and I even think too, as parents sometimes it's really hard to not get emotionally involved because it's your kid.
Right, that's a huge part of it as well, right.
I definitely the first thing you said right where it's like, you know, like mom, I talk to you about this all the time, but I want to talk to somebody else about this and get what they, you know, a different perspective on it.
14:30
Great, You know, but also, man, there are there are babies there, there are kids.
And if, if you're going to be that mentor and that coach and put on that hat, you have to have an ability to let go of their results.
It's hard to do when that's all you've cared about for the last 15 years of their life is their results.
14:53
And you have to have that ability to let go of it because they can't learn to own their results until you let go of their results.
And so like, I have that ability to come in as a coach and completely let let go of their results, meaning that hey, like whatever you want to try to get awesome, like becoming a famous YouTube star.
15:17
For example.
Or basketball player, whatever tactics you want to try to use that me as an adult of 40 years of experience, I know that tactics probably not going to work, right?
But you desperately want to try it.
When it comes to confronting these bullies, for example, this is a very common one.
15:34
And I'm like, yeah, hey, you know what?
If that's what you feel like, that's best.
I'll ask all the questions, like, yeah, I'm going to do this.
All right, then go do it and let's talk about next week how that worked.
And I let them go do and they come back and they're like, yeah, that didn't work.
In fact, to make things worse.
Yeah.
Interesting.
15:50
But like I can do it.
Not like why I told you so, because I was telling them not to.
I have that ability to just let go of it and go, hey, let's just try this out together.
Maybe that will work for you.
Maybe I don't know.
Go try it, come back, we'll talk.
I mean, when it doesn't work, I have the ability to then say, why do you think that didn't work?
16:11
Yes.
And that right there is the most important, because that's the second thing I feel teens need after owning their own results.
They need the ability to write their own stories and come up with their own solutions.
And they can't do that if me as parent is coming in and telling them what to write and telling them what to think and telling them what to do, which we desperately all want to do as parents, you know, because we love them so much, right?
16:39
Like have you ever experienced that as a coach with your your kids like which is wanting to tell them even though you know?
Yeah, I, I don't know.
I, I've been coaching a long time and I have a lot of kids, right.
So like I get better with each one.
16:56
So definitely my older ones, I was probably more worried about things versus my kids now that are teens that I could feel like now I could even say.
So for example, one of my kids, I was concerned about some of their friends and I just said, here's the deal.
17:12
Let me just paint a picture of the road that these kids are on.
Is that the road you want to be on?
And the kid was like, I don't know.
I don't think you're right.
And I was like, I think I am, so try me.
And I said, this kid, I have a role that everybody's welcome in my home.
17:27
I, my home is open to everybody.
We're a lighthouse.
We're a safe place.
The doors are always welcome to my home.
So I said, invite these friends.
You don't have to cut these friends off, but they can only come to our house.
So they can't take you away, but you, they can come here.
And it was so interesting to watch this kid even just trust me with this because he couldn't see that far ahead.
17:48
And now here we are several years later and he goes, he always teases me.
They call it my Spidey sense.
That's what they call it.
Like your Spidey sense was right of like these kids have gone down a completely different path than what he wanted and where he is now.
And so I do think when you have a connection with your kid and can stay out emotionally, like fantastic.
18:11
But I don't know what I would do if my kids tried drugs, if I'm being honest.
I don't know if I could stay neutral with something to of that magnitude because of my brain.
That's a big issue.
Or if they were doing other things that like being promiscuous or things like that, that I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
18:28
I don't know if I could be neutral with that.
And so that's where it's beautiful when a coach can come in and it's like, all right, let's talk about what happens if you start having sex.
Yeah, and like, you get to decide to make those choices.
So I think that's the beauty of a coach when like, your mom and dad can do your best, but having somebody who's neutral and just to show them options is such a beautiful space.
18:56
Yeah, agreed.
Agreed.
So tell us about is it an app?
Is it a web program that you've created for teens?
Well, yeah, so Sidekick to Hero is a virtual confidence and resilience program for teens.
19:12
So it's a web-based app.
I always just call it an app, though it's not for native phones yet.
It was so funny when I was working with the developers on this.
I'm not hiring a professional developing like a gaming developer company to build this from the ground up because I wanted to feel like a video game.
19:30
Excuse me.
And all right, we're going to start with an iPhone app.
And I was like, no, like, no, no, like, like that's where everybody is.
That's where, you know, the teens are.
And I'm like, no, I want it to be accessible on all desktop Chromebooks, like just browser, you know, and they're like, you're nuts.
19:47
And I'm like, no, you guys are nuts.
I don't think teens should have a smartphone.
So I can't be saying that.
And then also say, hey, guys, sign up for my program available on on iPhones only, you know, so it's available on, you know, web browser.
20:03
Excuse me?
I last night was a pioneer day here in Utah, and I set off a bunch of fireworks and I inhaled some smoke from my daughter Sparkler.
She put it right up to my face and I started coughing.
It was not fun.
But yeah, So they can access it online.
20:21
It looks and feels like a video game, but it's not a video game.
It's a curriculum that teaches powerful concepts for mental resilience and confidence and emotional regulation, and it does it in a gamified way.
So they get training from short videos 5 to 10 minutes long.
20:40
Remember, you only need 15 minutes of instruction a day, right?
Teach them a concept and they, they watch these short videos, I make them all.
They're comedic.
They're downright hilarious, is what some teams have.
Called them.
And I do.
I use comedy to teach them these skills, how to be aware of what they're thinking, change their thoughts, stop procrastinating social skills.
21:01
And then they get a challenge to go do in real life.
And that's the game part.
They're the main character of the game and they're going to go do these challenges in real life, go talk to three new people, go be mad, but not yell at your younger brother or sister, you know?
21:18
And then they come back into the app and they report how it went in a little like self reflective journal entry and they get points and coins for doing all of it.
And it's a lot of fun.
There's the the course aspect, you know of it, but there's also a weekly live stream that we do to build community where it also functions as a membership where they sign in every Thursday night our our hero training rooms and they can talk in a moderated chat with me and another certified life coach for teens.
21:49
And we talked about different themes of the month.
This month or this summer, we're going through Atomic Habits.
So I'm summarizing one chapter every week and then we, we talk about it and I give them a challenge to, to complete in the real world as they're moving towards a big goal they have for the summer.
22:08
So it's it's a ton of fun and the homeschool community is loving it and it's really perfect.
I was going to say, I think you told me that, right?
Because the homeschool moms are like yes this is amazing for my kid.
Well, it was hilarious.
22:23
We launched it officially last summer.
People started signing up and I realized by Christmas, I'm like, half the people that are using this are homeschool, you know, like kids.
And I looked over at my wife.
I'm like, wait, we homeschool.
Why am I not like marketing this to the homeschool community, you know?
22:38
And so I, I've been doing that and it's perfect because parents know how to utilize this like a homeschool parent goes, Oh yeah, no, I, I know exactly how to utilize this in my homeschool routine.
Like, however they do it, there's public school kids in there as well.
22:55
And you know, some public school kids love it just as much and they eat it up and they love it, but it's like they have to come home from school and maybe they have football or something else and then they have their evening activities and, and then they got to squeeze in time for it.
They can still work for them, but the homeschool community also doesn't have like they know how to use it, but they don't have a curriculum on this stuff.
23:21
Like it's not there.
Like you can read books and there's some great entrepreneurial curriculum I've heard of, which is great.
Like we talked about being an entrepreneur as well.
But as far as the the mental resilience and the ability to self coach and to rewrite your stories to identify what I call your sidekick thoughts and remove that and write a hero thought and be able to keep going even after failures, even despite people calling you names and making fun of you.
23:48
Like despite whatever your circumstances are.
The ability or a curriculum that will give kids an ability to be able to take control of their results in a way that you really need to if you want to succeed in life.
24:04
It's just not out there.
At least one that's not this fun.
Right.
What have you heard back?
Like his feedback and like what results have you seen for some of these teens?
Game changer.
That was one a mom emailed me for her I think 13 year old daughter.
She's like this is a game changer for her.
24:22
Oh my goodness.
Like she's opening up more and she's talking about things.
Another one sent a picture of you know, talk about developing some protocols right when because there's four arenas that I teach in that they can play through headspace, emotions, relationships and objectives spells out hero right called.
24:41
Psychic Hero.
I thought, I thought it was very cute, you know, but so he was going through the objectives category was talking about setting goals or what not, you know, having the protocols for your goals.
She sent me a picture and with his permission of he took notes and wrote down his like three goals, a short term, intermediate and long term goals and then put them by his pillow at night so we can review them frequently.
25:03
And she's like, Oh my goodness.
Like he has never done anything like this before.
And I've, I've had one parent, his team has been with me for the longest.
She's like, she emailed me last month and said, I don't know if I ever told you this, but my son, I mean, before we found sidekick hero, he was seeing a therapist.
25:23
You know, he was real.
Like he was going through some kind of bouts of depression, particularly self harm.
I, I don't advertise as that.
That's what I help with for legal reasons.
But she's like, man, I, I, he wasn't getting anywhere.
And then he found you and your program and it's, it's been a complete 180.
25:43
He feels more confident, he feels more emotionally stable.
He knows how to like process his emotions and go through and he's not struggling with any of that stuff anymore.
And to me that just like warms my heart because all of this stuff, it's, it's, it's a precursor, it's it's prevention.
26:06
You know, kids will get to the place where they're like, man, like a therapist would really be able to help them.
And if one can, awesome, sure.
But they'll get to that place.
And then the therapist, I have to undo a lot of the mind building and stuff and thought patterns that they got into.
26:23
But if you can prevent that all from the beginning, if you can just let them know, hey, just so you know, all thoughts are optional, like all of them.
And you will have the ability to choose how you want to view yourself and your circumstances.
26:39
Let's go.
You know, then you can do a great job at preventing a lot of issues that are facing teens today.
This is awesome.
It reminds me of just even like I see things.
So I'm in my 40s as well, right?
Of like I want to be really healthy in my 60s.
So that means in my 40s, making sure I'm doing preventive, preventative stuff to be as healthy as I can in my 60s.
27:00
So that's, this is what it reminds me of.
It's like before you go into adulthood, let's prepare you.
So if you do create a company, get a job, get married, have babies, whatever those things are that you're like, yeah, some days are hard because they have that resilience, right?
27:17
I didn't get into the school I wanted to.
OK, How do I deal with that?
How do I manage that, right?
Because you see so many kids now who like become into adulthood and they can't function with failure.
They can't function with a rejection or it's like it's somebody else's fault.
27:36
It's like that victim.
Every, everybody's against me then like, I need the world to change so I can get this.
So it's so amazing.
What an amazing tool to give them so that when they do launch into adulthood that they're like, I've got this and if one door closed, OK, do I want to try to get that door back open or do I want to do a different door and having that confidence?
27:56
Yeah, I I'm feeling that depression or frustration or whatever the unpleasant feeling is to have the ability to go, oh, but this doesn't mean anything is wrong with me, right?
Like, because, because that's what often will start the downward spiral.
Oh, I'm feeling bad when you're not supposed to feel bad.
28:13
Right.
Then that means something must be wrong with me.
Like I, I feel bad like once a day.
Oh my goodness, this.
And when I, when I talk to, to my teen clients, I'm like, well, how often do you think you're supposed to feel bad?
Right.
Or unpleasant.
Well, not very often.
I'm like that.
Where'd you get that from?
28:29
Right.
Like that's not true.
Like, guess what?
You're completely normal.
And they go, oh, that.
That's good to hear.
Like, yeah, so you can take that weight off your shoulders that you're not broken or something, because then they start self identifying as someone who was broken or who.
Has problems.
And whatnot.
28:45
And so they can go, oh, no, I'm.
It's just normal.
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, it makes sense.
And yeah, it prepares them especially for leaving the house and everything that real life is going to throw at them.
You know, they're, they're experiencing real life now, but you know, it's, they're protected a bit from mom and dad, you know, or not from, by mom and dad.
29:07
You know, parents do that.
We, we, we create an environment for them to try some things but still be safe.
Like they're not going to end up on the streets or they're not going to like whatever, because we're giving them love and, and food and shelter and all that.
But when you get out there on their own, a lot of kids are like, Oh, this feels uncomfortable.
29:26
Well, I don't want to do this.
But.
You need that discomfort like you have to experience it.
What do you say?
Because sometimes I, I hear this and This is why some people are like, we need to coach the parents because I often see parents saying, Hey, will you coach my kid because I need you to fix them.
29:47
And that's what I'm like, Oh, that's when mom and dad need coaching, right?
Like, what do you say?
Because I know the kid could still benefit from it, but I I don't like the space.
When a parent is like Joey.
I can't stand my kid.
Fix them so that I don't find them so annoying anymore.
30:02
Get rid of this behavior.
Like what do you like?
How do you take that?
Well, 2 two things can be true at once, right?
Is that the team could definitely use some skills on interaction and communication with mom and dad and not clinging to their phone and and giving it up, for example, when mom asks for it or takes it away.
30:23
Like the team could totally use right.
That helped to be able to do that and go you know what mom's in charge like I I get this.
She's there for my best interest.
Got like they can totally use that.
But in that scenario that you just said mom could also use help in going.
30:38
You know what, my teens not broken.
This actually makes sense that they are acting this way and the reason why mom is seeking out help for their teen.
That's been the biggest difference in what I've seen in the parents.
I talk to you as I'm working with their, their teens.
If they're approaching it like they need to be fixed, Oh my goodness, they, their, their teens not even up for it, man, because mom's been talking to them like you need to be fixed.
31:02
I don't need to be fixed.
So I do a lot of marketing towards this effect where I I don't get those parents.
Anymore that.
Mindset because a parent coming up and saying, hey, you know what, like my teen is going through what teams go through and I think they could benefit from learning some important skills in this area.
31:21
And I talked to them about it and they they agree.
I feel awesome.
I, I want to coach that kid on the exact same thing.
I want to coach the other kid on whose mom is like, they need to be fixed.
Oh my goodness.
Like that's mom wanting their team to get coached so mom can feel better.
Yes, so I don't have to regulate my emotions.
31:38
I will change you so then I feel happy.
Yeah.
And that's not the the best way to approach it.
And usually teen will sense that and not even want to be on board.
Well, yes, that's what I've seen because people will say we you because like in my membership, it's like mom, dad and teens are welcome to use the private sessions weekly, right?
31:59
So mostly moms, dads will come on and those ones are always voluntary.
The supposed have been amazing and teens, I have a huge asterisk on my website that's like only if they want to be coached.
And I can tell you immediately if it was I have to be here.
32:17
And I'm like, well, wonderful.
Why don't you just tell me what you like?
Because this is going to be pointless for both of us, right?
Like you don't want to be here.
I'm happy to be here.
But like, I'm just going to be your friend then because you don't want to open up or, or what not.
And so I love that you're marketing like, hey, let's just learn confidence.
32:33
Let's learn this amazing skill versus let me parent your kid.
Yeah, well.
And I found that out way at the beginning I.
Did OK.
What is it?
A focus group with a bunch of teams through my church.
And I was all right, guys and I, I gave them a bunch of wordings and they all hated the wordings where it, it looked like they were going to be fixed, you know, and they were like, no, I don't like any of that, you know, And, but all the ones that were like, Hey, we're going to be a leader, Learn, learn how to increase.
33:02
Your I love that.
Resilience so you can be successful and high achieving.
They're like, yeah, no, I'd sign up for that.
Like that make and I and I tell people I was a part of it because even if they recognized, oh, I do need to be fixed, like they don't, they're not happy about it.
They don't want to tell people.
Right.
33:17
You know, it's embarrassing it.
Is so I tell parents, approach it that way with your teens.
Beautiful, OK, that is awesome.
Thank you for putting my own heart at ease because I hate that mindset.
Just like as a teen who was being abused right and was always told you're the problem, you're the problem, you're the problem while I was being abused by this person right.
33:39
So like I come from like this space of like, did you ever take a chance to think maybe like there might be some interaction here that isn't helping things, right?
So I think it's beautiful to give teens support as they're going through things that they have.
33:55
I remember one of my kids just had a friend move away for the summer.
Wasn't even full time, but their family, they homeschooled, right?
So they're like, we're going to go live in another country for the summer.
And my kid did not know to do with those big emotions.
He didn't need to be fixed.
He just needed help of, like, this hurts and this is hard and right.
34:13
And so I love that there's a space for these kids to saying, OK, yeah, pain is a part of life.
Let's learn how to feel it.
I want to be confident in trying out for something like a teen who wants to try out for a team or an instrument or a band, whatever they play all of these beautiful things, like, I want to go for it.
34:31
And then having the resilience if they don't get it, what are you going to do with that?
Right.
Is it time to give up?
Is it time to try again?
Different strategy.
Mean about yourself.
Oh, so good.
Right, that's that's the kicker right there.
Yeah, OK, This is so great for teens and adults, it sounds like, right?
34:52
I feel like we could add this into like homeschool of this confidence and the resilience of K Yesterday's homeschool was a crap show.
And what do I want to make that mean?
OK.
It happens, right?
Moving forward, Because guess what happens to public school teachers too?
Yeah, yeah, it totally does.
35:09
OK, so where do people go to find out more about you, to find out more about your program?
Where's the best places?
Where are the best places?
Best place is Joey mascio.com.
You can find all the things that I do.
I I have a podcast that's just for teens.
35:25
I talk right to them.
They're short comedic episodes.
It's called Secrets for an Awesome life.
You can find a link to that on joeymascio.com.
You can find sidekick to hero that the gamified app on joeymascio.com and a special gift to just your listeners.
35:41
If they use code Meg Meg at checkout, they'll get the first month for free.
OK, so awesome.
What a fun thing to start your home school year off with the bang, helping your kid feel more confident, learn resilience.
Joey, thank you so much for taking the time to come and talk with me today on my podcast.
35:59
Thanks.
For having me.
Have a great one.
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