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#262 Building a Foundation

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0:02

Hello, Welcome to Called the Homeschool episode #261.

Should I quit homeschooling now?

Before I dive into what I want to talk about today, I want to remind you that tomorrow is my class.

I'm teaching about sibling success and this has been something that I just see in so many different homeschool forums and worries like, OK, I can kind of figure out this homeschooling, but my kids are going to kill each other and I don't know what to do.

0:28

So I'm really excited about teaching this.

I just taught it in Mama's members And so if you're already my membership, go and check it out, it's already uploaded.

But if not, come and join me Thursday night.

You can still grab a spot for that.

And if you can't make it live, don't worry, I will have it recorded to you that you can watch it later.

0:49

But I'm going to teach you what to do when your kids start fighting and things go too far.

How to Empower your kids to be amazing Problem solvers and I'm also including a 30 day sibling challenge so you can help your children start fostering peace in the home and Start learning how to get rid of contention and create calm instead.

1:10

So Super Duper excited about that?

Just go to coachmegthomas.com and click on shop.

Or you can go to my Instagram and register there so it's ever easiest for you.

Let's dive into today's episode.

Should I quit homeschooling Now?

You may be wondering if this topic is about whether or not you should quit homeschooling, but it's not.

1:29

It's actually about me and it's about an experience I had a few months ago.

I am always thinking about our home school and I was thinking a lot about our school for the fall because we are going to be having some big changes this year.

I do have seven kids and right now I have five kids living at home.

1:48

And of these five, one of them is getting married.

So he is moving out in the summertime and then another kid is going to go serve a mission for our church and so he will move out sometime probably in the fall.

I don't have the date for that yet.

That means for the first time in what, 1920 years, I will only have three kids living at home and it's kind of weirding me out.

2:15

My one daughter is that will be living at home, will be is 16 years old.

She is completely independent in her education journey.

She does college classes online and then she participates in speech and debate and mock trial, which she absolutely loves and also goes to seminary.

2:35

So her school is she's in charge of it.

She's managing her own time.

Obviously we get to hang out and I get to see her, but her education piece is completely independent and she is killing it.

So then I have a 13 year old boy and his school is becoming more and more independent and he also will join seminary in the fall.

2:59

He will also he will keep going with speech and debate and because his sister loves mock trial so much she got him to sign up for that.

So he will be gone now a little bit more with some of those other classes, which leaves me with a 7 year old all by himself, which I've never had because when I started homeschooling I had five kids and so that is all I have ever known.

3:22

So this has been on my mind and I've been pondering a lot of what will I do with him for school this fall because this is the first time I've ever really been homeschooling one kid.

Well, in March I went to an awesome sourdough class because that's what I do and it was taught by this really awesome homeschool Mama who I just loved and she happens to rent out her basement to this lady, to a couple ladies who have a classical education school.

3:50

And I was so impressed with this lady and everything she was doing.

I asked a million questions.

She is just telling me all about her little school, how awesome it's been, amazing things that she's done with it.

My friend has a daughter that goes to this school and I sat there wondering is this a good fit for my family?

4:10

I even brought it up to my 13 year old when I came home and I was asking him if this was something he would be interested in.

Are you worried about not being with another kid, other kids enough because we won't have as many people living at home.

So brought it up with him wondering, asking, talking about it and after I had some time to sit and think about it, it did not sit right with me.

4:32

This school although amazing is three days a week and sending my kids away for three full days a week did not feel right to me and felt like too many days with my babies out of the house.

Especially those teenage years that are so formative and then my 7 year old who still needs time with mom and just learning so many basic things, those three days just felt like too much.

4:56

Also, they were full school days and the thought of getting my kids up early in the morning to make them eat, get their chores done, eat some breakfast, get out the door, go to school all day and then come home and have them exhausted.

Too exhausted to hang out, too exhausted to do anything else Also goes against everything that I want to create in our family culture.

5:17

So I didn't want to have homework, I didn't want to have anything that would change things that are really important for our family.

And so at the end of the day, I decided not to go ahead and do something like this.

It's interesting because I have found with myself, as you become more reflective with your personality and how you show up in situations, you start to notice things that maybe bother you or stick out to you.

5:42

And I have noticed when there is a large change in our home school, I panic and I kind of worry and I going through this.

It's been a while since I had a big change, so I kind of forgot about it and things have been kind of on autopilot.

And now we're having a big change and I'm finding myself all sorts of worked up again.

6:01

When my oldest, when I obviously I was worried in the beginning when I started homeschooling right?

Just the big change it was creating for our family and feeling inadequate to five little kids.

Then I got in the swing of things with Elementary and I was like, I love this.

6:16

We're homeschooling for life.

This is dreamy, this is amazing.

And then my oldest started junior high and that fear came back in me again of am I qualified to teach junior high?

Like, who do I think I am?

6:31

And all these fears came up again.

And then we started with it and I thought, oh, oh, OK, I got this.

I'm going to figure it out with each kid.

When they would go to junior high age, I was like, oh, this is easy.

This is so easy.

Then when my oldest started high school age things I have same fears, same feelings, worries.

6:49

Am I can I do this?

Can I really help a kid this old?

I don't know what I'm doing right, All of these big things.

And once other kids started joining in high school and I got through that first one, I thought, oh, this is awesome and this is so fantastic.

7:08

So like I said, I've been on cruise control for a long time with our education, and I haven't had any really big changes because even adding a baby didn't feel that hard to me because I knew those years so well.

And like, elementary, that's easy.

7:23

And actually, we're actually going to wait as long as he wants to, to really start formal education.

And so I was totally fine with adding in an extra kid.

But the thought of homeschooling only two and sometimes one kid kind of freaked me out because like I said, I started homeschooling with five kids, added two more, and when I would lose a kid here and there, right, I'd have to adjust a little bit.

7:47

But I've still always had a group and now that group is dwindling smaller and smaller.

And so on one hand I'm so, so, so stinking and proud of my babies.

Loving our journey but starting to have those worries and fears.

Can I do this if my 13 year old is gone in afternoon?

8:06

It's speech and debate and my 7 year old is alone with me.

Is that really boring?

When he goes to mock trial, a lot of times it's on a Friday with his sister and it's just his brother and me.

Is that hard on him that he's going to be raised like an only child?

And I was having all of these fears and all of these worries.

8:25

I part of the reason I'm having this podcast is because I want you to remember that I'm human, right?

And that I still have worries and fears.

And so just just to, like put you at peace that it's OK that sometimes you have worries and fears too.

So anyways, all of this has been on my mind.

8:41

I'm sitting there with a 13 year old we're doing minute with mom and I was telling him different ideas we could do for school and and just putting it all out.

And I just looked into his face and looked into his eyes and I saw that he could not care less what I was saying, right.

I expressed myself verbally and so sometimes I get everything out of me and so I just saw his cute face.

9:03

Like I really just don't care, like everything's good.

I don't know where we're worrying about this.

And I looked at him and I said, are you worried at all about your school?

And do you like your schedule?

Do you like your current plan we have for the fall?

9:19

And he was like, mom, I'm not worried at all.

I'm actually super excited for the fall.

I laughed and I said then, I probably should stop worrying about this, shouldn't I?

And he goes, yeah, quit worrying about it, 'cause I'm not worried about it.

So am I going to quit homeschooling?

9:34

No, absolutely not.

Do I ever sometimes get nervous for my kids?

Yes, because I want the absolute best for my children.

And like many of you, I worry about if I'm inadequate to give that to my kids.

And to be honest, I don't know if I am always the best teacher for my children.

9:53

But what I do know is that no teacher is going to love them like I do, and for me that is enough.

So for anyone else there worrying about the fall, I see you.

I get it.

Yes, it's OK.

10:11

Your brain sometimes worries about things that it doesn't know yet.

This is going to be very new for me to just have one one kid at home.

And it's so funny because some of you beat maybe like Mega.

It's so easy with one.

How in the world did you do 7?

But seven's what I knew Five to seven kids is what I've known.

10:28

And so this big change is big for my brain and my brain wants to freak out.

So after giving it some time to calm down, which is funny because like I said, this started happening in March and it took my brain a couple months to calm down.

My brain is starting to calm down and now I can start seeing ideas and options and possibilities, right?

10:48

So if brother and sister are going to be a school on Friday, what are fun things that the seven-year old and I can do a lot of times his Big Brother that he just absolutely is obsessed with has Friday afternoons off.

So does he go with his brother?

Do the three of us go together off off of work?

11:05

I should say, And like, there's so many possibilities.

Do we get museum passes?

Do we go to a zoo?

There are so many fun things that we can go do.

And I cannot wait to see what those things are.

11:22

So just letting you know that it's OK to have some worries, let your brain get it all out.

Just don't let those worries make the decision right.

Get it out, talk it out, write it out, get it coached.

Whatever you need to do.

And then once your brain has calmed down, start believing in yourself like I've had to start doing with me.

11:41

Know that you are going to figure it out if you want it bad enough.

All right, friends, love you all.

I hope to see you on Thursday with the sibling success class and if not, I will talk to you next week.

Have a beautiful rest of your day.

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